


do you ever dream of dreams?

by flowerheeseung



Series: the dream series [1]
Category: ENHYPEN (Band), I-LAND (Korea TV)
Genre: M/M, boys being in love, but not really stated, everyone but heeseung and sunghoon are minor characters, i love heeseung he deserves the world, just heeseung doubting himself, sad kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:02:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26460850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerheeseung/pseuds/flowerheeseung
Summary: Heeseung thinks he’s not good enough.
Relationships: Lee Heeseung/Park Sunghoon
Series: the dream series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1925311
Comments: 8
Kudos: 73





	do you ever dream of dreams?

Heeseung feels like throwing up. Not because of his own fourth rank, oh no, more because of the fact that he let his team down. He already felt defeated when Sunoo chose him for chamber 5, he knew he couldn’t do it, but he tried to push the feeling down because he was their leader, their rock, they were supposed to lean on him, so he couldn’t go around expressing this, not to his team.

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He tried his best to act cute in front of the mirror, confidently saying he got it down and shooting a wink to his teammates, when he knew in fact he did not have it down, not in the slightest. They continued practicing their performance when he caught sight of Sunoo in the mirror, he was dancing effortlessly while having the brightest smile on his face. Heeseung knew he shouldn’t feel jealous about something so trivial, but to him it wasn’t. Sunoo could shamelessly throw up peace signs and look cute, while Heeseung thought he looked ridiculous if he even tried.

When Sunoo chose Sunghoon as the fifth member of his team Heeseung felt like he might cry. If he was supposed to be his team’s rock, Sunghoon was his. He didn’t know why, but the younger boy grounded him, always being there for him with his soft smile and warm hugs. So when the brown haired boy was thrown into their group and had to learn the choreography with even less time than the rest of the group had, Heeseung felt obligated to teach him, he wanted to be _his_ rock for once.

The younger quickly caught on to the choreo, and even though he wouldn’t admit it himself, caught on to the concept as well. Sunoo was an excellent teacher it seemed, because Sunghoon was getting quite confident in acting cute. Heeseung went to get some water when he saw them practicing together, acting cute in front of the mirror and getting Jake and Jungwon to double over in laughter. They seemed to be doing well without him.

Heeseung was nervous to say the least, they were about to go on stage to perform and he just hoped his team would do well. When performing the rap part of the song Heeseung quickly went off to the side and had a moment to catch his breath, to look at the members, they were all smiling and doing so well, he was glad, glad they were doing well and were sure to get a high rank, or so he thought.

He made a promise the evening before the test. A promise to Sunghoon. The younger snuck into his room that night, snuggling up to Heeseung when he spoke. “I’ll make sure you get to sleep in this room starting tomorrow.” He confidently said.

“We’ll finally be in the same room again then.” Sunghoon looked up to him with the softest smile on his face.

“Yeah” Heeseung said while softly stroking the younger's hair, who seemed to be falling asleep already “Yeah we will.”

At the end of the performance Heeseung was in shock. His team wasn't getting the praise he thought they would get, not at all. But they did so well? Heeseung was racking his brain for reasons why his team would get all of these critiques, when he came to the conclusion. It was _him_ , he was the reason. He quickly thought back to all of the moments in practice, when the team seemed to be doing better without him. He almost laughed right there and then, of course it was him, he was the team leader and yet he did the worst out of all of them, he was center for most of the song so of course he brought the team down. When the producers came to him, they said he had to act more, to make it more believable, that he had to learn these things to even become an idol, but all Heeseung could hear was that he had to _be better_.

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So Heeseung feels like throwing up, he himself ranked fourth, but he couldn’t care less about himself in that moment. _He_ made Sunoo lose his number 1 spot, because he was their leader, sweet sweet Jungwon almost got eliminated, when he was the cutest of them all, because he was their leader. But most of all, he couldn’t keep his promise, his promise to the boy who got called after him, when he should have been called before him. He was already crying in the lobby, wetting K’s shirt in the process, when the door turned and out came the brown haired boy. He quickly went to him, hugging him tightly as if he was afraid Sunghoon would disappear right this moment, as if they would take him away from him.

“I’m sorry.” Heeseung sobbed into his shirt. “I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my promise.” 

The younger boy lifted his head up and wiped away the tears that had already begun drying on the other’s cheeks. He shot him that soft smile that Heeseung had begun to love so dearly when he spoke, almost so quiet Heeseung doubted he would’ve heard him if they weren’t so close. “What are you talking about?”

“We’re finally in the same room again.” 

**Author's Note:**

> pls vote for heeseung he deserves the world
> 
> also my first fic so it might not be good but i just had to write abt heeseung because he!!!


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